“—And that’s why you can’t trust a single person who says they’re ‘pretty sure’ about anything— chances are, they haven’t even scoured the records! Unbelievable! See I, on the other hand, have done my research. I know almost everything there is to know about everyone here: why they’re here, what they did, their entire life story, and basically all of ‘em have a cause of death listed too, unless, you know, they just got plucked off their worlds for being antisocial losers.”
Viperstream was casually riding on the back of the much larger cat, soaking in the rays of the false-setting sun, as the two meandered down the street on the outer ring of the city beneath the pink and purple sky. Occasionally, she fiddled with the rope around her neck that kept her from flying away, or at least trying to. She wasn't exactly in the flying business in the first place, much preferring to use the skills she learned on the ground, thank you very much. This was very, very stupid.
“Hmm. Is that so?”
“Yes indeed,” Viperstream stated boldly, with a breathy exhale of pride, before continuing in a mock-sincere tone — “Come on, would I lie to you? My bestest buddy in the whole damned afterlife?”
“I do not know. Would you? For starters… what do you know about me?”
“Uhm— well.” The small cat stammered. “You’re new! I haven’t combed your information yet because I haven’t gotten around to it. Plus, that is literally exactly what I was doing before you came along, broke into what was not my house and dragged me off on this silly quest to go find a way out or whatever the hell it is you think you’re doing.”
The purple cat rolled her eyes. “Finding a way out is exactly what I think I am doing, except it's less thinking, and more what I am actually doing.”
“You’re not gonna get out, I told you! I’ve tried." Viper scoffed. "Besiiiiiiiiiides, who’d wanna go back, anyway? You’ve got a whole new world right beneath your paws and you’re gonna waste your time trying to go back to the real world? You’re dead, genius. Get used to it.”
“I will get used to it,” Nyra grumbled. “As soon as I can get where I am supposed to be. Which is to say, not here, and especially not with you. No offence.”
The smaller brown cat sighed. This stranger, “Nyra”, bothered her to no end. Infuriated her, even, despite the very short amount of time they’d spent together on this silly “quest”. She spoke with some big sense of grandeur, and an almost flat affectation, as if she was concealing her true feelings from everybody else 24/7, only breaking the facade to show mild annoyance and even THAT was sparse as all hell— not only that, but she always had the same stoic, tired expression written on her face, and it was practically impossible to get a good rise out of her! All that wouldn’t be so bad if Viper could leave, which she couldn’t, given the fact that the larger cat could easily overpower her again. Even if she didn’t have this stupid makeshift lead roped around her neck, leashing her to the other cat’s neck! God, she should have just picked a different day to go snooping around. Maybe then she wouldn't be stuck in service of some stranger with a double deathwish trying to make her way out of a cage that doesn't even exist.
Well. "Doesn't exist" for the most part.
“Supposed to be, she says! What, in the Dream, or whatever the hell it is you were blathering on about? If this you was supposed to be there then she would be! But she’s not, so she’s right here! Dragging me with her so she can try and get there for no god damned reason because she’s supposed to be HERE!”
Nyra stopped dead in her tracks to glare up, over her shoulder, at the smaller cat currently stretched out indignantly across her back— who was, in return, staring back at her.
“What do you mean, this you?” she hissed, though her tone indicated she was already well aware of the existence of different hers, just that she took particular offense to the wording.
“I mean exactly what I said! You think you’re the only you out there? You’re not! There are literally a million- no, a billion yous running around in an infinite amount of timelines, you’re just the one that happened to die at the exact moment that the god of this realm decided was the appropriate moment to spirit your soul away to join the pantheon of fucked up assholes who also got pulled here from a literal infinite amount of universes! How did you not know this?!”
The large violet cat growled in response. "As far as I'm aware, every me is still supposed to stay in Azeroth, even after death."
“I’m… like, I’m not saying this to be mean, I’m saying it because it’s true! So don’t get the wrong idea! A lot of people here don’t know this, and now you’re one of the very very few who do! I’ve done the math, Nyra! I’ve worked all of this out! I’ve analyzed every last bit of evidence! Fuck— look, this place is fucked up. Basically everyone here is fucked up in some way, from the guy in the time cube to, I don’t know, the sapient steampunk Bichon Frise two doors down. (Do you even know what either of those are?) But... it’s what you’ve got now. And… ugh, okay. Yeah, it sucks. No one you loved when you were alive is here, and that really sucks, but you can learn to adapt! Meet new people! You won’t like all of them, but that’s life! And death, I guess!”
Nyra opened her mouth to butt in, but was quickly silenced by Viperstream raising her voice even more. Any louder, and she’d probably have the attention of the whole city.
“And—no! I’m not finished, so don’t interrupt me! If you’re lucky, you wait long enough and you get reunited with the people you care about, ‘cause it’s happened before! Literally what is the likelihood that it doesn’t happen again in a realm connected to literally EVERYWHERE?”
Viperstream was agitated now, standing up and digging her claws partway into Nyra’s thick fur, wide eyes boring holes in the back of her neck. Nyra, in response, was only silent, but her tail swayed back and forth rhythmically as she found herself lost in thought.
“What you’re saying might indeed be right...” she mused, and for a moment Viper started to feel the swell of vindication, and allowed herself to entertain the thought that her social contract to this weird-ass stranger might be over. Sweet release? Maybe she could go back to living the rest of her afterlife?
...And then Nyra’s usually-stalwart expression of glum exhaustion slowly contorted into a smug grin, and Viperstream felt her heart drop.
“Don’t! Do not say anything!”
“...For you.”
Viperstream groaned exaggeratedly. “No!”
“You, perhaps, are content with this place, but I am not. There’s been an error here. And, like so many errors before, I am the one who shall fix it.”
With that, Nyra put herself in motion again, this time trotting with renewed vigor instead of walking along at a leisurely pace. Viperstream’s glare affixed the back of her head, her face plastered with pure rage.
“You stubborn jerk! I hate you!”